Whispers Of You
by MyJediLife
Summary: Rey Solo has lost her memories, can her husband, Ben, help her get them back?
1. Chapter 1

_DAY ONE_

The war had raged on for far too long, until finally, the Resistance crumbled, leaving the First Order in charge of the Galaxy. Those still with the Resistance had split up, going into hiding wherever they feel safest. For Ben and Rey Solo, it had been Chandrila. Finn and Rose had also gone to Chandrila, refusing to leave their best friends sides after they had all been through so much together.

Ben and Rey had been married for five years now, and three years ago they had been blessed with triplets – two sons with dark hair and hazel eyes, and a precocious daughter who had her Daddy wrapped around her tiny fingers. They had a good life – a small home on the beach, with a yard the kids could run and play on, and they tried to ignore the fact that their world was controlled by a vicious military junta that could come for them at any moment.

It had worked for them – until today.

"Ben? Could you stay with the kids while I go to the market?" Rey appeared in the doorway, her eyes lighting up at the sight of her husband, a datapad in hand as he sat on their back porch, reading a holonovel.

"Of course, be careful?" Ben looked up at his wife, love shining in his dark eyes for the mother of his children.

"You know I always am," Rey said, stepping onto the porch and leaning down, her lips meeting his in a loving kiss. "I love you," she said softly.

Ben reached up with one hand, his thumb skimming over her lips softly. "And I love you, my light. Come back to us soon."

Ben looked up from his datapad a standard hour later, his brow furrowing as he felt _something_ ripple through the Force, his bond with his wife going numb. Standing up, the datapad forgotten as it crashed to the floor, Ben clutched at his heart, his eyes wide with panic as he searched through the Force for the tendril, the thread, he associated with his wife.

A sigh of relief escaped his lips as he found it, following it to Rey's presence within the Force, stopping as it just… faded? What was going on? Mentally beating on it proved futile, and Ben's heart started pounding in his chest, his breath coming in gasps. Rey was there, she was alive… but she was _gone_.

Ben hit the button on his commlink that would contact Finn, trying to stay calm and just stay balanced, even though the Force was thrumming with his anger inside him.

_There is no emotion, there is only peace. There is no emotion, there is only peace._

His friend's voice crackled through the comm finally, making Ben jump slightly. "Ben? Whatcha need?"

"Finn," Ben said, his voice tight and full of stress as he answered. "I… I need you to come watch the kids for me. Something… something happened to Rey. I need to go to her. Now."

Finn's voice was tense as he responded, "Already on my way. Keep calm, Ben."

"Easier said than done, Finn. But I am trying."

As their kids came running up to him, talking about a bug they had found in the yard, Ben tried his best to hold it together for them. He wouldn't worry the children. Squatting down so he was the same height, Ben acted like he was hearing the most exciting story in the Galaxy, the smile on his lips purely there for his triplets' sake.

Because inside, he was anything but calm. He felt the same terror he had felt the first time Rey had been injured with the Resistance after he had left the First Order. Was any of the turmoil worth it if all it brought them was pain and suffering?

Finn burst through the door without knocking, the triplets immediately going to their Uncle Finn. Ben didn't wait another moment longer before rushing out of the house, his long strides making short work of the walk to the market just down the street from their home. He sent out the Force ahead of him, sensing for both danger and Rey.

His heart sang as he caught sight of his wife – still as beautiful as the day he had first seen her on Takodana. She was sitting on a bench outside the market, staring out at the ocean beyond the marketplace with an almost serene expression on her face.

"Rey? Sweetheart, you had me so worried!"

Ben sat down on the bench next to his wife, his large hand reaching out to take hers as he searched her face for a moment. Rey looked at him, her eyes lacking the normal light they had when she looked at him. What was going on?

Ben's heart started racing, a cold fear starting to creep through his veins as the Force almost rang out with discord. Something was terribly, terribly wrong with their Bond, and it took his beath away momentarily.

"It's a beautiful day, isn't it?" Rey said, her eyes looking back at the ocean.

"It is, yes. Rey… what… what's going on?"

Her hazel eyes met his, and she pulled her hand away from his, confusion causing her brows to knit together.

"I'm sorry… do I know you? You obviously know me from somewhere. I admit, I am terrible with names." Rey laughed, a sound that normally brought great joy to Ben. This laugh, however, was wrong somehow, and his heart clenched painfully in his chest, his breath coming in gulps.

_What is wrong with my wife? Why doesn't she recognize me? Oh Maker – the kids! How will I explain this to the kids? _

The life that they had started together five years ago was slipping away by the second, and Ben didn't know how he could fix it. He felt the panic start to take him over, his heart beating so fast he was certain it would just clench up and stop, his breath coming in pants as he tried to gain control.

He had to, for Rey. _His Rey. His Light. His __**Everything**__._

"My name is Ben. Ben Solo." Ben's eyes never left Rey, surely she had to remember something of all their years together? It couldn't just be… _gone._ Like their life together never even happened – could it? Surely she'd remember their children… Ryden Luke, Braxis Han and Leia Rose had to be etched onto her heart like they were on his, right?

Ben wanted to cry, the tears pooling at the sides as he bit his bottom lip and swallowed hard around the lump in his throat. He had to stay strong. He had to figure this out.

"Rey, what's the last thing you remember?" Ben asked her softly, watching for the familiar light in her eyes that she always got when they were together. As she looked at him, her brows furrowing as she thought, Ben didn't see that light, his heart still pounding away painfully as he fought off the panic.

"Um, sitting on this bench. Looking at the ocean. It's familiar. Comforting. And then you showed up, Ben, is it? You have kind eyes, has anyone ever told you that?"

"Yes. My… someone close to me tells me that a lot." Ben said softly, somehow knowing that telling Rey she was his wife would do nothing but frighten her, and if she ran off in terror, her memories gone, he would be in even more danger than they were in every day from the First Order.

"Rey, I know this seems, well, perhaps a bit sudden, but… would you like to have dinner with me?" Ben looked into Rey's eyes, hoping that if he got her alone, in some romantic little restaurant… maybe her memories would return and they could just go home and play with their children like they did every other night.

"I am a bit hungry, why not?" Rey said after a moment's thought. "I'd like to get to know you, Ben Solo. Your eyes are kind, but sad."

_If only you knew why, my light. If only you knew why._


	2. Chapter 2

**Day 17**

_I know someday you'll have your memories back, my light, and then I will let you read this holodiary. Every day is a struggle for me, you know how I get when you're injured, or sick… or even when you are just exhausted from a long day, worried about the kids, about the First Order somehow finding us. I worry. It's my job, as your husband. As your __**soulmate**__. _

_This is tearing me to pieces, Rey, because you're __**here**__, in our home. You're sleeping in our bed – but you're not here. Oh, you look like my wife. You smell like her, your mannerisms are exactly the same – but you don't remember me. You don't remember all the moments we have shared together, moments which are etched onto my heart, onto my soul… I miss you, Rey. I miss you so damn much, and I am barely holding on._

_It's not a memory wipe. I would be able to reverse that. That was the first thing I thought of. It's like nothing I have ever seen before. I swear to you, my light… __**I will figure this out. You will come back to me – to us. You have to, because I will never make it without you.**_

"Um, hello?"

Ben looked up to see Rey standing hesitantly in the doorway, like she had every morning for the last sixteen days. It was always the same routine – he thought they had made headway during the day, she would kiss his cheek softly and thank him for their day together before going to sleep in their bed – leaving him to sleep in their guest bedroom – and then the routine would start all over again the next day.

"Good morning, Rey," Ben said, trying to keep his voice light as he looked at her. She looked beautiful, of course. It always amazed him, how his Galaxy seemed to revolve around her. Her hair was mussed from sleep, and her eyes were still half lidded as she looked at him.

"Did you sleep well?" Ben asked her softly, wanting to pull her into his arms and claim her lips in a kiss, just like he had every day for the past five years. Instead, he stayed seated at his small desk, his eyes simply watching her from across the room.

"Yes, thank you. I'm sorry, I feel like I should remember your name, but I don't…" Rey's brows knitted together in confusion, the same way they always did.

"My name is Ben," his voice was soft and oh so sad as he answered her, his eyes moving to his datapad on the desk once more as he tried to keep the sadness from his face.

"Right. Ben. Am I… your servant? I am having trouble remembering, I'm sorry. Everything is so foggy outside of me waking up this morning." Rey moved across the room, coming to stand in front of the transparisteel window that overlooked their back yard. Rose and Finn were watching over the children, the five of them laughing and singing as they played some imaginary game with the kids.

"No. You're…"

_Everything, Rey. You're everything. My light. My love. Come back to me!_

Nodding, Ben sighed and said softly, "Yes. You were hired yesterday to care for my children and my home."

"Alright. Would you like me to make you breakfast, sir?" Rey was still looking at the window, a small smile coming to her lips as she watched the children playing. It sparked a glimmer of hope in Ben's heart – would she finally remember their children? Was she remembering him?

Rey looked up at him, her hazel eyes sparkling in the sunlight coming in through the window. "Those are the children, then?"

Ben found the all too familiar lump forming in his throat at her words. Not trusting his voice, Ben nodded, swallowing hard and willing the tears to stay at bay before finally speaking. "Yes. They are triplets. Braxis, Ryden and Leia."

"They are beautiful children, sir – Ben."

_Of course they are, _Ben thought to himself, _Because their mother is the most exquisite, beautiful being ever created._

"Thank you, Rey. How about I make breakfast for everyone while you get settled in and acclimated?" After a moment's hesitation, Rey nodded.

"That would be nice, Ben. Thank you."

…

**Day 32**

_I am still no further along in figuring out what took your memories from you than I was on the first day it happened. I am sorry, my light, I am failing you, and so much time is being wasted._

_I long to hold you while we fall asleep, like I did every night for the five years before this happened. I wait until you fall asleep every night, and I just stand in the doorway of our room and watch you sleep. I don't know what else to do, nothing is working, and I feel you slipping away every single day. It's excruciating. Please, come back, Rey. We need you. __**I need you.**_

Ben was in his usual place at his desk, the morning light flooding the room. A small movement in the doorway caught his attention, and he turned in his seat to see his daughter standing there, her eyes sleepy still as she clutched a doll in one hand, the other hand rubbing at her eyes. His eyes lit up as he watched her, the perfect blend of Rey and him in one being.

"Good morning, Princess," Ben said softly, opening his arms for Leia. She scooted across the room and climbed into his lap, nuzzling against his chest and smiling up at him.

"Morning, Daddy," Leia said in her tiny voice. "Daddy, when is our real Mommy coming back?"

Ben felt the tears pricking at his eyes, and he had to bite them back before speaking, his voice wavering as he said, "I don't know, Princess. I don't know."

…

The kids were in bed, and Ben found himself sitting across the dining room table from Rey, a smile on her face as she laughed at something Ben had said. He could almost imagine that this was _his_ Rey, and that he would wake up in the morning from some horrible dream. Ben knew he wasn't any closer to figuring out the mystery of his wife's missing memories, though, so he would have to be satisfied with the tiny glimpses he sometimes got of her.

He _missed_ her, though. It was absolute agony to have Rey so close – yet so far away.

Looking up from his musings to find Rey staring back at him, her hazel eyes full of a longing he hadn't seen in over a month now, Ben reached out with a shaking hand, his fingers pushing a stray shock of hair behind her ear, his thumb stroking her cheek softly before he pulled it away, a blush coloring his face.

_She still feels the same as my Rey. I don't want to scare her away forever._

"Sorry," Ben said softly.

Rey just smiled at him before standing and coming around the table, her eyes still full of longing as she leaned in and kissed his cheek softly. "Don't be. I liked that. Goodnight, Ben, I'll see you in the morning." Turning, Rey headed into their bedroom, leaving Ben feeling the all too familiar sadness at her departure.

"Goodnight, Rey," he said softly, his eyes gazing at the now closed bedroom door sadly.


	3. Chapter 3

**Day 75**

_Uncle Luke came to visit last night. Apparently, your affliction is the biggest topic amongst dead Jedi's. I miss you, Rey. Leia keeps asking me when her real Mommy is coming back, and I have no idea what to tell her. I did send off a message to Maz. If there is anyone who can figure this out, it might be her._

_You let me hold you for a while last night. I took you out to dinner at our favorite little café, the one on the waterfront? We walked along the beach afterwards, and things were just.. nice. I could almost imagine that it was really you with me, instead of someone that looks exactly like you, but has no memory of us._

_I miss you. Please, come home from wherever you are._

The door creaked open, and Ben didn't even have to turn to know who it was that stood just inside the room. "Good morning, Rey. Did you sleep well?" Ben half turned, knowing that she would be standing there, her hair mussed from sleep and confusion in her eyes. It had been the same routine for two and a half months now.

"Yes, thank you. I'm sorry, I know I should…" Rey started, saying the same words she had said for the last six weeks.

"Ben. My name is Ben Solo," he sighed and swiped a hand through his hair in annoyance. "And your name is Rey. Rey Solo. You're my wife. Mother to my children. Kriff, do we have to go through this every morning? Why can't you remember?" Ben was yelling now, his words bouncing off the durasteel walls of their home.

Rey shrank back against the half-opened door, eyes wide and scared as she watched the man – Ben, he had said his name was. "I-I'm so-rry…" with a loud squeak, Rey turned and raced from the room as a large vase zoomed across the room on its own, crashing into the wall and shattering into tiny shards, littering the Coruscanti tile floor.

Ben huffed as she left the room, one large hand brushing through his hair in annoyance. This whole situation was keeping him off balance, and the temper that he had learned how to keep under tight control after leaving the First Order and shredding the mantle of Kylo Ren was surfacing – and he had no one to help him, to soothe all the sharp, jagged edges that he had somehow managed to cover after meeting Rey.

Because it was usually her helping him. Rey. His light.

She had always had a way of calming him, of soothing all those sharp edges. But this version of Rey – the one that had been robbed of her memories – she had no clue how to soothe him. She didn't even know him – not the way _his_ Rey did.

Rey could sense his moods even before they hit him. She knew him, intimately, wholeheartedly – and better than he knew himself. He needed her back, he was drowning on his own, being pulled under the crashing waves over and over again. Someday he wasn't going to resurface.

"Rey?" Ben called out after he had calmed himself down. He hadn't meant to react the way he had, hadn't meant to scare her.

"Y-yes, Ben?" Rey appeared in the doorway, her small frame shaking in fear and her eyes wide as she looked at him. He wanted to take her into his arms to soothe her, but instead Ben bit his bottom lip hard, both to keep the tears at bay and to give him anything else to think about but doing just that.

"I'm sorry," Ben said softly, looking up at Rey. The anguish in his eyes was something he was certain the whole Galaxy could see if they looked at him. He was a man broken, a man who had once had the Galaxy, but had lost it in one fell swoop. "I… I know you have no reason to trust me, but… you are my wife. We've been married for five years now, and we have three amazing, beautiful children. They have your eyes and personality – I honestly don't think they get much from me." Ben barked out a sad laugh before continuing.

Rey had crept softly further into the room as Ben spoke, her hazel eyes just watching the obviously broken man as he spoke. She didn't remember him – she was certain of that – how would she ever forget being married to someone as handsome as him? She was positive she had seen agony at some point in her life, though, because she recognized it in Ben. He was in agony – as much as a person could be in.

Rey shuffled closer as Ben continued his story.

"I… I don't even know why I am telling you all this. Something happened to you, Rey, two and a half months ago. You kissed me goodbye and went to the market, and… something happened. I _felt_ it happen. When I found you – well, you didn't remember me, or our children. It was as if the last five years or our lives were erased from your head somehow. I am trying to figure it all out… but I'm losing hope." Ben looked up at her, a tear trailing down his face.

Rey stepped closer now, moved by his anguish. Reaching out with one hand, Rey touched Ben's arm gently, licking her lips as she tried to find the right words to help him somehow. Finally, a flash of something came to her mind, and she said softly, "Hope is like the sun. If you only believe in it when you can see it, you'll never make it through the night."

His mother's words hit Ben like a ton of bricks, making him blink feverishly to try and keep the tears at bay. "W-where did you… did you remember something, Rey?" Her touch felt so good, and Ben just wanted to take her into his arms. He craved her touch, like a man dying of thirst craved water.

Rey shook her head, sad that she didn't remember anything of their lives together – only words that appeared in her head for some reason.

"No… I just… _saw_ the words, I guess. I don't even know where they came from," Rey admitted softly. "I just wanted to try and comfort you. You look like… well, you look like the saddest man I have ever seen. I'm sorry, Ben, I wish I could remember you. I wish I could remember our life, because you seem so kind. But I don't… I don't remember _anything._"

Ben swiped a hand over his face, trying to wipe the tears and heartache away somehow. The act was fruitful, he knew – he could never wipe the heartache away – not until he had Rey back. He was nothing without her, just an empty shell of a man, going through the motions for his children.

Rey watched Ben, squeezing his arm softly as she watched the war going on within him. For some reason, she could _feel_ his anguish as if it was her own, swirling around and through him in waves. "Ben," Rey said softly, licking her lips again, "Would… would it help if I let you hold me? Would that ease your anguish?" Looking at him, Rey didn't think she would mind his strong arms around her. It seemed like he needed that from her, and while she may be the cause of his pain, maybe this would help ease it – at least for a short time.

Swallowing hard past the lump in his throat that seemed to be ever present, Ben just looked at Rey for a moment, her words rolling around in his head for only a split second before he reached out, pulling her slender frame against his. He let the tears fall as he buried his face in her hair, his arms tight around her as he wept.

Rey let her arms loop around Ben's neck, knowing that he needed this from her. She might not know him, might not remember their lives together – but she knew a few things just from looking at Ben Solo. He was in pain, and he loved her deeply. She would do this for him, because he needed her – even if she didn't remember.


End file.
